If you've ever been told you're "emotionally unavailable," or found yourself instinctively withdrawing in relationships when things start to feel too intimate, too needy, or even just "too much," you're not alone.

In this post, we’ll dive into what avoidant attachment is, why it leads to the tendency to withdraw in relationships, and how to challenge these patterns in a healthy, compassionate way. We’ll also explore how healing from these behaviors can lead to more fulfilling and emotionally secure relationships, both with yourself and with your partner.

As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, I’ve seen how deeply complex PTSD can affect relationships—especially when triggers and flashbacks disrupt connection. But here’s the good news: With the right strategies, you and your partner can build a stronger relationship, learn how to support each other through triggering moments, and create a safe space for healing. It’s not always easy, but it’s entirely possible.

Avoidant attachment typically develops when emotional needs weren’t consistently met in childhood. Maybe you had caregivers who were emotionally distant, expected you to be self-reliant too early, or punished vulnerability. So you adapted. You learned that closeness can be unsafe, that expressing needs might lead to rejection—or worse, shame.

Anxious attachment is one of the four main attachment styles. It often develops in childhood when caregivers are inconsistent in their responses—sometimes available, sometimes emotionally distant, unpredictable, or overwhelmed. As a result, the child learns that love is unreliable, and they must be hyper-aware of others to avoid rejection.

Empowering assertiveness is the ability to communicate your needs, limits, and feelings directly and respectfully. It's not about being aggressive or demanding—it's about honoring your needs while still being mindful of others. For individuals with anxious attachment, assertiveness can feel risky. You're used to prioritizing others, tiptoeing around potential conflict, or sacrificing your own comfort to keep the peace.

Trauma masking is one of the most overlooked ways people cope with past relational wounds. It’s not always obvious—it can look like being the “strong one,” the people-pleaser, or the partner who never asks for help. But underneath those polished exteriors, many trauma survivors are silently navigating a deep fear of rejection or emotional pain.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what anxious attachment is, what it can look and feel like, and how it affects relationships. We'll also talk about practical coping strategies, as well as how therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting can help you build more secure, grounded connections. For those in partnerships, we’ll also touch on how couples therapy can be a powerful space for healing together.

Attachment wounds and the fear of abandonment often develop early in life due to neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or traumatic relational experiences. However, healing is possible. With the right therapeutic interventions and self-awareness, individuals can work towards cultivating secure attachments and overcoming their fears.

Trust and intimacy are fundamental to healthy relationships, but for individuals with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), these elements can be incredibly difficult to navigate. Trauma—especially when it occurs over a prolonged period—can rewire the brain’s ability to trust, making vulnerability in relationships feel overwhelming or even dangerous. However, healing is possible.

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship. It’s natural to disagree from time to time, especially when two people with unique perspectives, values, and emotions share their lives together. However, disagreements don’t have to be destructive. In fact, when handled with care and understanding, conflict can actually strengthen a relationship.