Every relationship goes through moments of disconnection—periods where communication falters, conflict escalates, or you feel like roommates instead of partners. For many couples, these challenges don’t mean the relationship is broken; they simply signal that old ways of relating are no longer working. Couples therapy offers a space to slow down, understand what’s happening beneath the surface, and begin repairing emotional safety.

For many adults, emotional masking is second nature. You might find yourself downplaying anger, hiding sadness, or suppressing joy to avoid conflict, judgment, or rejection. Often, this behavior isn’t about being “inauthentic”; it’s a survival mechanism developed in response to past experiences where vulnerability felt unsafe. For those with trauma histories, masking has kept you protected, but over time, it can create distance between yourself and others, as well as within your own sense of self.

Many adults carry the effects of neglect, emotional abuse, or repeated stressful experiences from childhood, which can lead to anxiety, difficulty trusting others, chronic stress, and challenges in relationships. If you’ve experienced these effects, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. As a trauma therapist in Seattle, I specialize in helping adults work through childhood trauma using evidence-based, trauma-informed approaches.

Being in a relationship can be exhilarating, comforting, and deeply rewarding—but for many, it can also bring up fear. The idea of letting someone see your true thoughts, feelings, and needs can feel terrifying. If you’ve ever caught yourself holding back, keeping your emotions contained, or avoiding sharing your vulnerabilities with your partner, you’re not alone. The good news is that feeling cautious doesn’t mean you’re incapable of intimacy.

Relationships are complex, and even the strongest partnerships can experience periods of disconnect. When conflict becomes chronic, one or both partners may begin considering divorce. For couples on the brink, traditional therapy may feel like too little, too late—or worse, like it’s forcing reconciliation that one partner isn’t ready for. This is where understanding the difference between Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) and discernment counseling becomes essential.

For many people, the thought of stepping onto an airplane triggers intense anxiety. You may feel a racing heart, shortness of breath, or a tightness in your chest long before the plane even leaves the gate. Flying anxiety is surprisingly common, yet it can feel isolating if your friends or family seem perfectly comfortable in the air. The good news is that with trauma-informed approaches, it’s possible to address the root causes and develop strategies that allow you to fly with confidence.

Attachment styles aren’t fixed traits—they’re flexible strategies your mind and body use to navigate relationships. By understanding these strategies and practicing secure responses, especially through trauma-informed approaches like Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), you can shift patterns and build deeper, more connected relationships. Real change happens when you actively engage in therapy with a trained professional.

It’s common to feel drained, anxious, or guilty around a parent who is emotionally manipulative, critical, or dismissive. Maybe you find yourself constantly apologizing, second-guessing your choices, or avoiding contact to prevent conflict. These experiences are more common than many adult children realize, and the impact can ripple into your relationships, self-esteem, and even physical health.

It’s easy to be fascinated by shows like Couples Therapy and hope we can learn how to fix our own relationships from watching them. But real therapy isn’t about observing—it’s about engaging and doing the work in session. Couples therapy helps partners navigate patterns, improve communication, process past hurts, and reconnect emotionally. Common themes include trust issues, communication breakdown, unresolved trauma, and differing attachment styles. By living the experience with a trained therapist, couples can develop deeper understanding, stronger bonds, and healthier relationship patterns.

EMDR and Brainspotting are both highly effective therapies for trauma recovery, but they use different techniques to help individuals process and heal from traumatic memories. EMDR focuses on bilateral stimulation to reprocess trauma, while Brainspotting uses eye positions to access deep emotional material. Both therapies aim to help you process trauma, reduce emotional distress, and promote emotional healing. In this blog, we explore how both approaches work, when one might be preferred over the other, and why working with a therapist trained in both methods can offer a comprehensive healing experience.

If you've ever been told you're "emotionally unavailable," or found yourself instinctively withdrawing in relationships when things start to feel too intimate, too needy, or even just "too much," you're not alone.

In this post, we’ll dive into what avoidant attachment is, why it leads to the tendency to withdraw in relationships, and how to challenge these patterns in a healthy, compassionate way. We’ll also explore how healing from these behaviors can lead to more fulfilling and emotionally secure relationships, both with yourself and with your partner.

As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, I’ve seen how deeply complex PTSD can affect relationships—especially when triggers and flashbacks disrupt connection. But here’s the good news: With the right strategies, you and your partner can build a stronger relationship, learn how to support each other through triggering moments, and create a safe space for healing. It’s not always easy, but it’s entirely possible.

Avoidant attachment typically develops when emotional needs weren’t consistently met in childhood. Maybe you had caregivers who were emotionally distant, expected you to be self-reliant too early, or punished vulnerability. So you adapted. You learned that closeness can be unsafe, that expressing needs might lead to rejection—or worse, shame.

Anxious attachment is one of the four main attachment styles. It often develops in childhood when caregivers are inconsistent in their responses—sometimes available, sometimes emotionally distant, unpredictable, or overwhelmed. As a result, the child learns that love is unreliable, and they must be hyper-aware of others to avoid rejection.

Empowering assertiveness is the ability to communicate your needs, limits, and feelings directly and respectfully. It's not about being aggressive or demanding—it's about honoring your needs while still being mindful of others. For individuals with anxious attachment, assertiveness can feel risky. You're used to prioritizing others, tiptoeing around potential conflict, or sacrificing your own comfort to keep the peace.

Trauma masking is one of the most overlooked ways people cope with past relational wounds. It’s not always obvious—it can look like being the “strong one,” the people-pleaser, or the partner who never asks for help. But underneath those polished exteriors, many trauma survivors are silently navigating a deep fear of rejection or emotional pain.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what anxious attachment is, what it can look and feel like, and how it affects relationships. We'll also talk about practical coping strategies, as well as how therapies like EMDR and Brainspotting can help you build more secure, grounded connections. For those in partnerships, we’ll also touch on how couples therapy can be a powerful space for healing together.

Attachment wounds and the fear of abandonment often develop early in life due to neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or traumatic relational experiences. However, healing is possible. With the right therapeutic interventions and self-awareness, individuals can work towards cultivating secure attachments and overcoming their fears.

Trust and intimacy are fundamental to healthy relationships, but for individuals with Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), these elements can be incredibly difficult to navigate. Trauma—especially when it occurs over a prolonged period—can rewire the brain’s ability to trust, making vulnerability in relationships feel overwhelming or even dangerous. However, healing is possible.

Generational trauma, also known as intergenerational or ancestral trauma, refers to the transmission of emotional wounds, coping mechanisms, and unresolved pain from one generation to the next. It can stem from major historical events such as war, forced displacement, racial oppression, or familial patterns of neglect and abuse. When left unprocessed, these traumas influence parenting styles, relationships, and even biological responses to stress.